


Musings

by myrna123



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama/Romance, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 06:34:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/794944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrna123/pseuds/myrna123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at Jim's and Blair's thoughts after they've taken the big step.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Musings

All the different stories incorporating song lyrics, not to *mention* the discussions of Who's On Top have prompted the following schmaltz fest. It really is Pointless Romantic Drivel, but that's the way it goes sometimes. 

This story is in no way affiliated with UPN or Pet Fly Productions. The characters are their property, and this story is not meant to infringe upon their copyrights. 

## Musings

by Myrna  


A gentle smile tugged at the edges of Blair's mouth as he watch Jim putter around the bedroom. Tie carefully hung back up, dirty clothes tossed in the laundry basket, shirt in the dry clean pile. Heaven forbid the man come to bed without everything in its proper place. Blair rolled to his side and hitched up on an elbow, sighing with satisfaction when Jim emerged naked from the closet. 

There was so much about the man Blair loved. His sense of honor and integrity, the certainty with which he made decisions and forged ahead, his quick laughter and gentle heart. He loved the *man* to be sure, but God almighty, what an exquisite package it came in. 

Blair loved Jim's body, the sheer physical beauty of it--ripped muscles, tight abs and bulging biceps. It made his mouth moist just thinking about it, much less having it paraded before him. It still surprised him from time to time that this most perfect physical specimen should choose *him* above all others. Was it luck....fate.....genetics that had brought them to this point? Did it matter? 

Jim brushed his teeth and turned off the bathroom light, pausing only to pick Blair's clothes up off the bedroom floor. Blair smiled at the mock glare he threw and Jim's heart fluttered like an adolescent's. Blair was so familiar to him, so much an extension of himself, that he often forgot what an exotic beauty he was, all that thick, dark hair and those haunting blue eyes. Now, as their eyes met, and Blair slid his tongue across those full, arresting lips, Jim was struck once again by his breathtaking appearance. That he should take a lover so well suited to him was amazing enough, the he should be such a stunning work of art was nothing short of miraculous. 

"How'd I get so lucky?" he whispered, crawling into bed and immediately moving to take Blair in his arms. 

The younger man smiled. "I was just wondering the same thing." 

"How you got so lucky?" Jim asked, naively walking right into it. 

Blair's smile grew. "No, how you did." He shouted with laughter when Jim growled and bit his neck. "I give! I give!" he yelled, squirming deliciously beneath his lover. "Man, you are *so* ultra-sensitive." 

Jim kissed the errant bite marks along Blair's neck and shoulder. "That's why you're here," he reminded him and grinned at the rumble of laughter he felt in his chest. 

"Oh yeah, almost forgot." 

Jim snorted at that idea. "Right, that'll be the day." He resumed his kissing, thrilling at the way Blair so thoroughly relaxed under his ministrations. The kid was usually wrapped tighter than a drum, his mind racing in a hundred directions at a hundred miles an hour. When Blair first moved in, Jim couldn't imagine him ever sleeping, and it hadn't surprised him to learn Blair usually slept only three or four hours at a time. He was a poster boy for hyperactivity and once they'd become lovers, Jim took it as a personal challenge to see if he could calm the man down a little. 

He grinned inwardly at the thought. All he'd seemed to have done was give Blair yet another outlet for his trademark hyperactivity. Well, that wasn't entirely accurate. One of Jim's greatest pleasures was holding on to Blair after sex and feeling him sink deeper and deeper into sleep. For some reason Jim couldn't fathom, it was then, not during some high speed chase or dangerous stake out, that he felt most protective of the younger man; where he was most aware of Blair's past hurts, of his vulnerability. It was then that Jim promised himself he would always protect the beautiful man who had so swiftly and so sweetly stolen his heart. 

He pulled back now and looked into Blair's bright blue eyes. He pushed the hair away from his face and captured his lips. Blair's back arched, driving Jim's tongue further into his mouth. He moaned when Jim broke away. "I love you," Jim whispered. "for some reason, everything I saw today or heard or touched or smelled....everything I *sensed* reminded me of you." 

Blair felt a faint heat of blush on his cheeks. Another surprise he found after coming into Jim's bed. It was he, the big, tough detective, who was the romantic between them. Perhaps it had something to do with his level of self-confidence, or Blair's lack there of, he ruefully thought, but Jim was the one given to spontaneous gestures of affection, who whispered sweet nothings, who once scattered rose petals all over the bed, then made love to Blair among their silky softness. More often than not, when Jim left for the office before Blair, he would wake up to find a note on the bedside table next to the CD remote, that would say merely Track 10 or Track 5. Blair would click play, scan to the appropriate track, then find himself listening to some song Jim had heard on the radio that reminded him of Blair or of their relationship or of how he felt about the younger man. 

This morning it had been a song called By Heart. 

> __  
> Hold me close, Baby please  
>  Tell me anything,  
> But that you're going to leave  
> As I kiss this fallen tear  
> I promise you I will be here
> 
> Until the stars fall from the sky  
> Until I find the reason why  
> And darling, as the years go by,
> 
> Until there's no tears left to cry  
> Until the angels close my eyes  
> And even if we're worlds apart  
> I'll find my way back to you by heart

Nothing like changing the bed sheets first thing in the morning.   
  


* * *

Jim was the first man, the first person, really, Blair had ever been close to. Not knowing what to expect from a permanent relationship, Blair half-worried that he might feel constrained or worse, trapped by the promise of commitment. For Blair the only constant in his life before Jim had been his education, and even that came in semester-length chunks, split in the summers by travel and study. Stability had been something so foreign to him, something so unattainable, he hadn't every really missed it, or so he thought. After only a few short months with Jim, Blair was stunned at how much he actually *liked* routine. Granted, he'd given Jim a hard time about his house rules, but that had been more an aversion to authority than to organization. 

And the promise of commitment had come effortlessly because the idea of *not* being with Jim was simply impossible. 

He loved that he could count on Jim, that when the big man said something, he meant it. Funny that even though *Jim* was the cop, Blair was oftentimes more leery of people and their motives. It always made Jim look at him strangely, as if trying to figure out exactly what had happened to make Blair feel like that. He never asked, though. He'd learned early that a direct question only netted obfuscation and half-truths. He knew Blair would tell him eventually, because, eventually, Blair told him everything. 

Almost in spite of himself, Blair thought. 

Blair suddenly realized that during the time he was lost in thought, Jim had retrieved lubricant from somewhere and was oiling up Blair's cock with great relish. "I was wondering where you were," Jim teased when Blair's eyes brightened with understanding. "I'm doing all the work here." 

"Not for long," Blair promised, and borrowed some of the lube and gently inserted a gelled finger in Jim's anus. The big man lurched forward as sweat burst from his pores. Blair smiled at the way Jim's entire body pulsed in anticipation. He inserted a second finger, then a third, which wasn't strictly necessary, but Jim always did it and turnabout was fair play, Blair figured. 

Jim moaned when Blair removed his fingers. "I want you, Baby," he whispered, shifting in the bed to give Blair better access. "All of you. I want you inside me, I want to feel the pulse in your cock before you come inside me." 

And he would of course. Blair placed himself at Jim's opening and began pushing inward, blinded momentarily by Jim's wanton cry of desire. "God, I love you," Jim moaned. "You're my life, Blair. Every breath, every thought, every beat of my heart. It's yours, Baby. It's all yours." 

Blair huffed in response, zeroed in on the task at hand. Plowing inward, he was conscious of nothing until his pelvis rested against Jim's solidly muscled ass. Blair grunted in warning and began a series of slow, steady thrusts. 

Blair was such a motor mouth in every other aspect of his life, it amused Jim in an affectionate way, that he was so utterly quiet during sex. Save throaty grunts and an occasional groan of ecstasy, Jim heard little from him until the act was over. Not that he minded. The sounds Blair made nearly drove him to distraction and never failed to send him higher than any whispered pleasantry. Jim still felt compelled to keep up a running commentary. 

"Oh, yeah, Baby. Oh that's it; more; give me more; ungh; harder Baby, come at me harder." Jim shoved himself backward, surprising Blair who let loose with a cry of delight that made the room flash with sudden illumination. Jim chuckled and did it again. 

Blair felt so good inside him. He felt the younger man's heart thundering against his back, felt the huff of air as he panted behind his ear. They were both slick with sweat, and he could hear the enticing sound of wetness as they slid up and down each other. And always there was the hypnotic, almost addictive rush of connection that came whenever they were joined this way. That part of it always felt the same to him whether he were in Blair or Blair in him, which was strange given how very different the dynamic was. For Blair, making love was the ultimate act of worship and he approached lovemaking like a sacred rite. Every touch, every kiss, every *move* was full of reverence. It was his way of honoring Jim and the relationship they were building. For Jim, it was more recreation, a wildly erotic romp that left them spent and dizzy, hoarse from shouting and limp from exertion. 

He worried, at the beginning, given Blair's devout approach and his playful one that the younger man might misinterpret his feelings. But Blair, ever the student of human nature had kissed Jim for his concern and quietly replied, "Jim, for you, the acts of worship are things like pulling the blanket up around me or worrying because I didn't eat dinner. The way you step in front of me when someone looks menacing. How you touch my hair when you get up to grab a beer. Don't worry, man, I get it, okay?" It was one of those times when Jim actually felt himself fall in love with the man all over again. 

Even without Blair's telltale moan, Jim knew he was near the edge. As if on cue, Blair's hand snaked around Jim's hip and began pumping his erection. When Jim's sphincter began to spasm, Blair would be gone. The big man grinned knowingly. As a Sentinel, he could count it down to the nearest second, and mentally he often did. He knew better than to do it out loud, lest he awaken the insatiable research lust of his lover. Blair would probably start bringing a stopwatch to bed with him. No thank you. 

Just a few seconds more and Jim exploded over Blair's hand which prompted Blair's shout of warning and prodigious release. Jim nearly sobbed with joy at the infusion of Blair's seed. He refused to let Blair extricate himself for a few more minutes, saddened, as always, that the connection was so fleeting. Finally allowing Blair to pull out, he rolled the younger man off his back and tried to reconnect by crawling as far into his mouth as he could. 

"Was it good, Baby?" he asked, shoving his tongue down Blair's throat before he could answer. "I love you, Blair," he whispered, spreading butterfly kisses all over Blair's sweaty face. "When you're inside me, it's like for one isolated moment in time, you're all mine and I'm all yours. And there's no doctorate, no station, no crime, no past, no outlandish senses. There's just you and me and nothing but time." 

"I love you, too," Blair murmured, finally coming back to himself and wondering in a vaguely disturbed way if Jim had any idea how lost he was to him. Not for the first time, he wondered about his status as guide. Was he fated to be here in Jim's bed, firmly ensconced in his life? Was he fulfilling a role meant for him and only him, or was it pure, dumb luck that he happened to be where Jim needed him to be. That seemed so arbitrary. So....ordinary. Could anyone who knew about Sentinels be Jim's guide or were there other factors at work? Could it just as easily be someone else in Jim's arms? 

Did it matter? 

Blair slipped his arms under Jim's and hugged him hard, kissing that rippled chest and nuzzling one of the dark nipples. Jim kissed the top of his head and reached around for the CD remote. Blair smiled and welcomed the coming slumber. Oh well, he didn't have to figure it out now. He had time. 

> __  
> Until the stars fall from the sky  
>  Until I find the reason why  
> And darling, as the years go by,
> 
> Until there's no tears left to cry  
> Until the angels close my eyes  
> And even if we're worlds apart  
> I'll find my way back to you by heart  
> 

* * *

The song "By Heart" was written by Jim Brickman and Hollye Leven and can be found on a Jim Brickman CD called 'by heart.' It's a CD of beautiful piano solos. This song is the only one with words in it!   
  


* * *

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